Random thoughts

We went to the mall last week to purchase our family ornament since we hadn't gotten one since Aslynn was born.  I was dreading this trip to the mall.  I know what you are thinking too, dreading a trip to the mall??  But yes, I was.  Because of one person. She's the one person from this summer.  I have reasons to thank her because she kept Brad alive for me but other than that I don't like her.  The trip to the mall was miserable only because I know that if I had seen her, I wouldn't be angry, I would be sad.  Sad because all of the thoughts from this summer and things I know would come rushing back.  I would get this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I've tried as hard as I can to put all of it behind me.  I don't blame him, I just blame him for how everything went about.  I still believe that things happen for a reason and in the end I'm the one who ended up with him again.  And that gives me some comfort but I'm female.  I can't help it